Dog Days of March: Ranking Hot Dogs by Memory

Social Distancing Day 9 …

The sports are gone. The good food is gone. I haven’t interacted with a human in nine days. So here we are.

I’ve been to eight ballparks in the past two seasons, and I ate hot dogs at six of them. I’m no food critic, but I do love ballpark hot dogs and ranking things … and I kind of remember how hot dogs taste (like I kind of remember what baseball is like … or you know, human interaction).

#7 (unofficial) Miller Park

The hot dog at the ballpark famous for sausage races may have not lived up to the hype. I was recovering from an unfortunately timed stomach bug at the time, so I didn’t get to eat one myself (thus, the “unofficial” ranking), but from what I hear, Miller Park hot dogs don’t impress.

My brother’s take? “Grossest hot dog I’ve ever eaten in my entire life.”

That seems dramatic, but some people around us shared the same sentiment. The biggest redeeming factor? It was Dollar Dog Day. At Brewers games, maybe you get what you pay for. Let’s hope the everyday dogs are better.

Miller Park’s baked potato game, however, was on point.

Verdict: I don’t know. Maybe eat a baked potato.

#6 Coors Field

Denver Dog at Coors Field (Rockies)

In the Mile High City, I went all in on the Denver Dog. This hot dog was not bad. It just wasn’t MY kind of hot dog.

Topped with green chili sauce, jalapenos and what seemed like a mile-high pile of shredded cheddar cheese, the Denver Dog looked delicious, and on paper, it should have been. But I didn’t like all the textures mixed together, especially with the sheer amount of shredded cheese.

It was also incredibly messy to eat … and I may have forgotten what I was doing and touched my eye after eating but before washing my hands. I won’t do that again.

Verdict: Sorry, Rockies, it’s not you. It’s me.

#5 Great American Ball Park

These next two were tough. I thoroughly enjoyed all the hot dogs from here on out, and there wasn’t really anything that set Nos. 4 and 5 apart from each other (I’ve flipped them multiple times.)

It all came down to regretting my decision at Great American Ball Park. I’m not trying to penalize the Reds for offering hot dogs that sound more delicious than the one I chose, but I chose a Nathan’s all-beef frank, and in a weird turn, I wish I would’ve gone with the other basic hot dog option … which means I must’ve not completely loved the one I ate.

(In reality, I wish I would’ve chosen Skyline Chili, but again, I can’t dock Great American Ball Park for having options.)

Verdict: Pretty great American hot dog, but I would change my order next time.

#4 Busch Stadium

Hot dog at Busch Stadium (Cardinals)

I love Busch Stadium hot dogs, and as a Cardinals fan, I’ve eaten a lot of them throughout my life. But the one I ate on the particular night in question wasn’t as great as I know a Busch Stadium hot dog can be.

I had also eaten a giant lunch at Ballpark Village before sitting around for hours waiting out a thunderstorm, so I probably wasn’t the hungriest. I’d still order it again if given the chance and recommend it to anyone asking.

Verdict: Great, but not greatest.

#3 Target Field

I’d consider this one a sleeper. Target Field was fairly generic in my opinion, but the hot dog (even on $1 Wednesday) was anything but.

I respect a hot dog tasty enough to stand on its own without condiments, and this one did just that, packing in a ton of flavor with every bite. And at the low price of $1, it packed in even more value.

The Minnesota Twins don’t skimp when it comes to dollar dogs.

Verdict: The dollar dog at Target Field may be one of the best ways to spend a buck.

#1 (tie) Guaranteed Rate Field, Wrigley Field

Chicago-style hot dog at Guaranteed Rate Field (White Sox)

I get it. Ties are disappointing, but we all root for them when it comes to multiple teams winning a division we have no stake in, so let’s pretend this is that.

I’m putting my anti-Cubs bias aside and handing over the top trophy to both Chicago teams because let’s face it, the town knows its hot dogs.

In most cases, my favorite way to eat a hot dog is plain, on a bun and dipped in ketchup … with the exception of the Chicago dog, which is the real champion here.

(And yes, I realize it’s weird to eat a plain hot dog and dip it in ketchup.)

I can’t crown one single champion. They both exceeded my high expectations, delivering on big flavor from both a hot dog and condiment standpoint.

For those not familiar, Chicago-style hot dogs feature mustard, sport peppers, tomatoes, neon green relish, a dill pickle spear and onions, all on a poppyseed bun. Basically perfection. (I always leave off the onions, though.)

The South Side dog was slightly more beautiful than the North Side one … but only because I loaded up the Wrigley one myself.

Chicago-style hot dog at Wrigley Field (Cubs)

Verdict: As much as it hurts me to say it, Chicago is king when it comes to hot dogs.

Honorable Mention: T-Mobile Park

Ivar Dog at T-Mobile Park (Mariners)

This one didn’t make the list only because it’s pretty much impossible to rank a fish sandwich against a hot dog. But honestly, if I could have any food right now, I might choose the Ivar Dog (brought to you by a regional fish chain in Washington.)

Maybe I’m just hungry. (I am.) But this fish sandwich is one of the best fish sandwiches I’ve ever eaten in my life. Topped with tartar sauce and coleslaw, this fried cod was also one of the best things I’ve ever eaten at a sporting event.

With a stunning view of Puget Sound just outside the ballpark, a fish dog is the perfect answer to a landlocked stadium’s hot dog. Plus, it’s Lent-friendly if that’s your thing.

Dear Mariners, I want one right now.

Verdict: Does a fried fish sandwich make a good substitute for a hot dog? No. It makes a great one.

Have a good hot dog suggestion? Let me know in the comments.

Twins: Target Field

My second of 30 ballparks brought me to Target Field, home of the Minnesota Twins, for an interleague meeting with the St. Louis Cardinals, dollar hot dogs and a whole lot of sunshine.

Target Field
Welcome to Target Field

Game Day Conditions

The Twins game was only about one month after our inaugural road trip to Cincinnati, but the weather was about as different as possible … sunny, hot, barely a cloud in the sky, what most people probably think of as baseball weather. However, after a long winter that overstayed its welcome well into mid-April, this game marked the first time this year I spent multiple consecutive hours in the sun.

Game time was 80 degrees, and the temperature reached the upper 80s, which I would not have guessed for a May game in Minnesota. I wasn’t quite in midsummer form for tolerating the sun and accompanying heat (and by the looks of all the fans flocking to guest services for free sunscreen and a little shade, I was not the only one).

Note: Although it’s not right on the river, Target Field is the only other baseball stadium (the other being my home team’s ballpark, Busch Stadium) that’s in an MLB town on the Mississippi, so I felt like I had something in common with Twins fans.

Game Day (May 16, 2018)

My brother and I had driven to the Twin Cities area the night before the Wednesday afternoon game, so we had a (relatively) short drive to the ballpark on game day. No Uber for us this time … we navigated our way to Target Field ourselves (well, with the help of Waze).

There are parking garages conveniently located right around the stadium. Did I struggle with figuring out how to get into them, drive past the entrances a few times times and start to freak out a little? Sure. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t convenient. Plus, we got a few cool views of the ballpark as I drove somewhat aimlessly around it.

Skybridge from Parking Garage
Skybridge from parking garage to Target Field (me driving aimlessly)

Once we finally parked (at the very top of one of the garages), we made our way down to ground level and crossed the street to the stadium.

Target Field is unlike any ballpark I have ever seen, and I’m still not certain whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. It kind of looks like someone is launching a missile off its roof (more so in the photos than in person), and with all that limestone, it doesn’t really scream baseball to me.

Target Field
Target Field missile-like roof

Regardless of whether or not the building itself looks like a baseball stadium, fans are treated to plenty of baseball history as they make their way to the entrance.

The Twins’ World Series, American League and division championship banners caught our eyes as we walked toward the stadium, so we took a brief detour to see what they were all about. The banners on the stadium to the left of (what I would call) the main entrance made their way clockwise around the building in chronological order.

1987 World Series Banner
1987 World Series banner

I took a minute to mourn the Cardinals’ 1987 World Series loss to the Twins from the year before I was born, which I mentioned in my Target Field preview.

But I bounced back quickly when I saw the Kent Hrbek statue … not because I recognized Hrbek (I didn’t) but because I clearly enjoy posing with statues.

Kent Hrbek Statue
Kent Hrbek statue

Kent Hrbek Plaque
Kent Hrbek plaque

And yes, I realize Hrbek helped the Twins win the World Series at my team’s expense and that I basically (unintentionally) look like a cheerleader hanging out with him, but I don’t really have strong feelings about the Twins, and I’m all for getting lost in baseball history, regardless of the team (although I can maybe think of one exception).

After the Hrbek detour, I got distracted by this street banner of the game’s starting pitcher, Lance Lynn … mostly because I appreciate him as a former Cardinal and goofball and a little bit because he was struggling going into the start and would maybe be what the Redbirds needed to get back on track. (Sorry, Lance.)

Lance Lynn Banner
Still a Lance Lynn fan

My brother and I then made our way back to where we started and to what I would call the front of Target Field. Unlike our first ballpark (Great American Ball Park with the Reds Hall of Fame and Museum), the Twins do not have a museum, at least not in building form. They do, however, proudly display their history outside the ballpark in an area called Target Plaza, but more on that later.

We entered Gate 34 (named after Twins Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett) from the Target Plaza area. Security was quick. We were there early, and there wasn’t much of a crowd at that point. (Gates open 90 minutes before the game Monday through Thursday and  two hours prior to the game on Friday through Sunday.)

Gate 34 at Target Field
Me and brother entering Target Field

View from Inside Gate 34
View immediately inside Gate 34

Once inside, we explored a little and made our way to our section (126), which happened to be where the Cardinals were stretching and signing autographs. Batting practice was over, but we probably still could have gotten autographs if we tried.

Cardinals Pitchers
Cardinals pitchers

Pitchers Matt Bowman (I think) and Brett Cecil

I have to give a shoutout to pitcher Michael Wacha, who stuck around to sign autographs for pretty much every fan who asked. What a guy. (Side note, so many Molina shirts.)

Wacha Wacha
Nice-guy Michael Wacha signing autographs

Wacha Wacha
Nice-guy Wacha still signing autographs

We then made our way to the dugout, which doesn’t have quite as much character as Cincinnati’s but still offers nice views of the ballpark. We chose the third base side, which is the away team dugout.

Twins Away Dugout
Me and my brother at the Twins away dugout

Twins Away Dugout
Twins away dugout

After our dugout stop, we walked around the concourse some more, checked out the team store and took photos from about every angle of the stadium. (And unlike our first ballpark adventure, this time, we took advantage of the escalator.)

Escalator
T.C. Bear pointing up the escalator

Ticket from Target Field's inaugural game
My brother and this cool ticket from Target Field’s inaugural game

Me pointing
Me being either A) bossy or B) indecisive

From left field
From left field

To me, the two best views are looking out at the Minneapolis skyline and looking in toward home plate. (I think skyline views in ballparks are always some of the coolest features, and this one is no exception.)

Minnepolis skyline
Minnepolis skyline

Looking toward home
Looking toward home

My absolute favorite feature of the ballpark (and the one that to me, feels like it screams baseball) is this old-timey image of Minneapolis and St. Paul shaking hands over the Mississippi River that sits atop the stadium in center field. (I think I mostly like that it is both vintage-looking and geographically accurate in that the Mississippi does in fact separate the Twin Cities … plus, the whole friendship thing. Adorable.)

Minneapolis and St. Paul shaking hands over the Mississippi River
Minneapolis and St. Paul shaking hands over the Mississippi River

Once the game started, we stopped exploring and stayed in our seats (other than to make a few trips to the concession stand and Guest Service Center.) Again, I’m not much of a roamer when there is baseball to watch.

Play Ball!
Play ball! View from section 126, row 9, seats 7 and 8

The day’s menu? Dollar hot dogs and bottled water. And with all that money I saved on my $1 dog (because the Twins have $1 hot dogs every Wednesday in 2018), I was able to splurge on this Chocolate Malt Cup … which I guess is technically malt-flavored ice cream rather than actual malt? I’m no expert. Either way, it was delicious, and so was my hot dog. Plus, the frozen treat was fantastic on one of the first steamy days of the summer.

Chocolate malt
Chocolate Malt Cup time

During the game, we enjoyed some between-innings entertainment from the Twins mascot (T.C. Bear) and a race by an odd assortment of misfits, which included the Target dog.

Race winner
Race winner

The yellow one (above) was so far ahead that you can’t even see the other runners (below) in the same photo.

Rest of the racers
The losers

Between all the entertainment and snacking, I managed to secure my second passport stamp for my MLB GameDay Pass-Port book. Unfortunately, I forgot the book at home (and I couldn’t find any in the team store), but the lady at the guest services booth stamped a random Twins business card for me. Problem solved.

Plus, I got my second first-time visitor certificate of the season. I picked it up before the game on the upper level. Unlike the Reds, the Twins staff does not print a custom certificate and instead, hands you a colorful blank certificate for you to fill in later. While this was slightly more eye-catching than the plain Reds one, I preferred the custom printed, official-looking Reds certificate.

(I also got a free Twins magazine with a scorecard and other info that I admittedly still haven’t read.)

Passport stamp and first-game certificate
Passport stamp and first-game certificate after the game

Looking out over the field
Looking out over the field

Game Highlights

It wasn’t pretty, but the Redbirds came away with a 7-5 win in a game that lasted just shy of four hours. (I had no idea the game was that long until I looked up the duration weeks later. It was over an hour longer than our previous game, but I actually prefer the longer games when I’m visiting a new stadium.)

As predicted, Lynn wasn’t sharp, but neither was Cardinals starter Miles Mikolas. Both pitchers had early exits, and the game was decided by the bullpen. Bud Norris got the save, and flamethrower Jordan Hicks picked up his second win of the season.

Game Summary

MLB GameDay Pass-Port summary page for Twins game
MLB GameDay Pass-Port summary page for Twins game

Target Plaza

As I mentioned earlier, the Twins don’t have a traditional museum, but they make great use of the area outside the ballpark with Target Plaza. If you’re in the Minneapolis area, I suggest you visit. It’s basically a free outdoor museum, featuring the Twins Hall of Fame, year-by-year rosters, several statues and one of my personal favorites, this giant glove.

Giant Glove
Giant glove at Target Plaza

I also highly enjoyed the Kirby Puckett statue and accompanying quotes from the 10-time MLB All-Star and Hall of Famer. (I loved reading quotes for all the statues. That was one of my favorite parts of Target Plaza.)

Kirby Puckett statue
Kirby Puckett statue

Kirby Puckett statue plaque
Kirby Puckett statue plaque

As good as the first quote is, this next one might be my 5-foot-0 self’s new quote to live by.

Another Puckett quote
Another Puckett quote

There are other statues as well, including this Twins ball.

Twins ball
Twins ball

And I couldn’t pass up a photo opportunity with the Twins mascot, T.C. Bear. (I wouldn’t have been able to tell you their mascot was a bear before this game.)

T.C. Bear and me
T.C. Bear and me

Our last stop in Target Plaza was the Twins Hall of Fame, which spans the bridge across I-394.

Twins Hall of Fame
Twins Hall of Fame

Twins Hall of Fame, Torii Hunter
Twins Hall of Famer Torii Hunter (possibly my favorite Twin … I don’t remember Puckett firsthand)

After the game, we sought out some food (and more importantly, air conditioning) at The Loon Cafe, just a few blocks east of the ballpark.

I had a Southwest turkey sandwich, and my brother had a grilled skinless cajun chicken breast sandwich. Mine was OK, but I’m still jealous of his beautiful chicken sandwich (below). The Loon, as I’ll now call it, is heavy on the Twins theming, and it’s known for its chili, which is served at Target Field.

Loon Cafe
My brother’s sandwich at the Loon Cafe

Two Down, 28 to Go

Overall, Target Field offered up a great baseball experience. Was it the most unique or charming baseball experience of all time? Probably not. Did it check all the boxes for a great game day experience? I’d say so. To me, the inside of the park is more impressive than the physical appearance of the ballpark from the outside, but Target Plaza truly feels like baseball.

Target Plaza is 100 percent worth the (free) experience. Go. I can’t say that enough. Even if you’re not going to a game, just walk around and take in the Twins history … FOR FREE. But if you’re in the area anyway, I also recommend you catch a game … and eat a hot dog, especially if it’s a dollar dog Wednesday.

Check back for a full Target Field photo gallery and for my adventures to other Twin Cities destinations, including the Mall of America. (When in Minnesota, am I right?)

Target Plaza
Target Plaza

Shoutout to two of my great friends (and their adorable daughters), who let us stay at their place throughout the trip. I appreciate it a whole lot and miss you guys. Thanks for hosting.

Next Up, Target Field

For my second of 30 MLB ballparks, I’m headed to Minneapolis for a midweek day game between the Twins and Cardinals.

I admittedly don’t know a lot about the Minnesota Twins or their ballpark, Target Field. I do know the Twins play that other brand of baseball where the pitcher doesn’t get to bat, but I also know I end up at Target multiple times per week … so I’m keeping an open mind. (Plus, I believe Torii Hunter was my go-to American League center fielder when it came time for All-Star voting in the 2000s.)

Unlike the Reds, whose ballpark I just visited and who have been around in some form since professional baseball began, the Twins got their start in 1901 as one of the multiple iterations of the Washington Senators. They didn’t move to Minneapolis and become the Twins until 1961.

The Twins were apparently all the rage right before I made my grand appearance on this planet, winning the World Series in 1987 against my would-be favorite franchise, the St. Louis Cardinals. (Side note, back then, the Twins weren’t playing at Target Field, which opened in 2010. They were playing in the Metrodome, which I remember most for its roof collapse.)

I forced myself to watch highlights from the seven-game ’87 World Series to get a better feel for the history between the teams I’ll be watching on the field this week. They were shockingly less depressing than expected. (And now I know what I’ll be humming throughout the game on Wednesday.)

While researching, I also discovered that there may have been a few questionable calls by the umpiring crew in Game 7.

The Twins went on to win another World Series in 1991 but haven’t claimed the crown since.

I’ve been to the Minneapolis area four times in my life, twice to visit friends and twice for college sporting events (basketball and gymnastics), but never for baseball.

My first trip to Minneapolis was an Orange Krush road trip my senior year of college in 2011. For those who don’t know, the Orange Krush is the charitable student cheering section at Illini basketball games, and each year, Krush invades a Big Ten opponent’s arena.

(Maybe I’ll do a throwback blog on that at a later date. But for now, enjoy this picture of me getting back to the student union after a 25-hour bus trip, 7 a.m. on a Thursday to 8 a.m. on a Friday, from Champaign to Minneapolis and back. I  basically got off the bus, brushed my teeth and went to class. Illinois won, so it was worth it.)

Original 2011 Facebook caption: Proof that I’m willing to sacrifice personal hygiene for the Illini

Now, back to baseball.

Going into this two-game series, the Cardinals (22-16) are 2-4 since sweeping the Cubs, May 4-6 at Busch Stadium. (Sorry, I HAD to put that somewhere on this blog). Two of those four losses came to Minnesota in a two-game series last week in St. Louis. The Twins (17-20) have won seven of their last 10 games.

Of note, former Cardinal Lance Lynn will be taking the mound for the Twins, looking for his second win of the season with a 1-3 record and 7.34 ERA. Also worth noting, I’ll be going to my second Miles Mikolas game of the season, which could be a good thing because he is 5-0 with a 2.51 ERA. If he wins this game, maybe I should make this a tradition.

Game Preview
Cardinals vs. Twins
Target Field
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
12:10 p.m. CT
Probable starting pitchers: STL Miles Mikolas (RHP) vs. MIN Lance Lynn (RHP)

Twins Tickets
Twins Tickets

Editor’s note: About five paragraphs in, I realized I forgot my MLB GameDay Pass-Port and pretty much spent the rest of the night freaking out about it. I was already two hours from home and didn’t want to spend four extra hours driving back home to get it, but I did want the stamp. At press time, I was still trying to decide what to do. (Hey, at least it’s not a real passport.)